07 February 2007

My So Called Life will be back to "NORMAL"...

...or the normal as I know it. Peter will be home from TX tonight. He is done with one of his two trips he has to take to TX every year. This year was a bit harder then I remember in the past years. Porter is MOBIL and his moods seems to have a direct effect on how my nights run. Sidney sleeps in my bed with me while Peter is away. It's a given...like our little treat for each other. She tells me when daddy is away I get to sleep in mom's bed and I can have sippie's.

It's Thursday and Peter is home. YIPPEE!!
Peter's flight came in yesterday around 4:30.

I started this on Thursday and now it's Saturday night and I am NOW finishing this post.
I took Friday off as a {ME} day. But I was Disappointed...really I was. I was tired and didn't have anything to give. I wanted to scrap book...but I sat at my table and .....nothing...I then thought that caffeine would help the matter...a Redbull later....nothing...
So a day later I am still feeling like I did yesterday...nothing. I am tired and all I have done all weekend is SNAP at Peter.

I have been asking my self the same question...I thought that having him around would of been the best thing for me and the family...but my mood and actions have been telling me and Peter differently, the poor guy.
I feel depressed, ugly, fat and feel like I have nothing to wear. You would think that it was my period but that only last for a day now that I have the IUD...maybe the actual side effects last longer.

So today is Monday and I am still in a "stink" of a mood.

I have come to the conclusion that sometimes instead of asking myself "WHY", I need to ask myself how can I change what I am doing. Think happy thoughts and think before you open your mouth. Don't say things you would want to hear Peter say to YOU.

I should count to 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 before I respond to one of the kids...and I think by doing these things I will be able to make it through the week.

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